Small Moments

Love may display itself in big moments and beautiful gestures, but it is cultivated in the smallest moments.

While a foundation of love is essential to a great relationship, counting on your feelings of love for one another to carry your relationship happily through life is not enough.

A relationship is built in tiny decisions, tiny actions.

Experiencing the flow of love in Relationship requires us to slow down, be present with our partner for just this moment, and really see them.

The moment that your partner hands you a fresh cup of coffee, you have a small choice.

You can say a habitual “thank you”, without really giving your attention and affection.

Or, you can take the opportunity to turn toward them. To look them in the eyes, see them, feel their presence, and appreciate them as you say “thank you”.

From the outside these two scenarios don’t look much different.

However, the feeling they generate is much different, and over time these two approaches create a very different relationship.

​If you want to feel more fully alive, more deeply in touch with the beauty of life, then these micro-moments are the gateway.

The Future Vision

To cultivate an amazing relationship, focus on both the future vision and this moment.

First, have a vision for your relationship, and make it specific.

How do you want to feel in your relationship? What moment in the future can you envision that shows you that you’ve successfully cultivated a great relationship over your lifetime together?

For example, dancing together joyfully at your 50th wedding anniversary.

This beautiful vision for your relationship gives you the pull-power to do the things today that will make that future vision a reality.
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​But you aren’t only cultivating a great relationship to enjoy some future moment.

This Moment

Your relationship is only ever happening in this very moment, the one right now in front of you.

How do you feel when you slow down and take an extra moment to intentionally connect with your partner?

Would you rather feel more love or less love in this moment?

Make the connection between the micro-moment of intimacy that you create, and how you feel because of it. Notice the difference in how you feel when you take that moment and when you don’t.

​These small moments are what will make the future vision a reality.

The Habit of Love

It’s nice enough to want to cultivate micro-moments of love and connection, but how do we actually remember to do that?

Like any behaviour, creating a habit is the best way to make sure you consistently do it.

I know it doesn’t sound very romantic to create a habit of loving your partner, but I think it’s about the most romantic thing you can do. It is the most sure way to dedicate yourself to consistently cultivating the love between you. What can be more romantic than that?

So, what are some ways you can create micro-moments of love?

I encourage you to think of at least 3 small things that you can do consistently, and make a habit of them. (Read this blog post about the 3 step process for creating new habits that will last.)

​Here are some suggestions (along with links to blog posts to explore more deeply):

Track It

A powerful way to make sure your habit of micro-moments of love will stick is to celebrate yourself when you do the habit.

Celebration is the key ingredient to lasting habits.

Personally, I use the fantastic Heroic app (check it out here) to track these micro-moments and celebrate them.

The Heroic App guides you to create your Identity, Virtues and Targets, and then each time you hit the target you can swipe it in the app.

Or, you can keep a sheet of paper somewhere handy, to mark off every time you intentionally cultivate a micro-moment of love.

Each morning, remind yourself of your intention, along with the vision for your relationship, and what specific things you will do today to cultivate those micro-moments of love.

Have a goal for yourself each day, and then experience the upward spiral as you get the double benefit of creating more moments of love, and reinforcing your identity as an amazing partner.


I would LOVE to hear about your experience in creating micro-moments of love!

Send me a direct message on Instagram, or email me at hello@abundantcouples.com to tell me about it.


With Love,
Cassidy